my ugly ugly tongue

E1 and E2 are at a mission trip in Austin this week. chaD their youth minister decided that this year they will serve instead of being at camp. I pray that God will show them something powerful this week. It is bound to happen after Sunday. Our pastor Mark Smith of Fellowship Bible Church delivered a powerful sermon on James and the power of the tongue. I don't think I have been hit that hard with a sermon since I saw my sin for the very first time. Let me tell you , it was an ugly thing. God showed me sin I have been committing for many years. He showed me how ugly it is to him all the more that I am a believer and yet still "murdering" those I love with my biting tongue. Ouch, ouch ouch!! I so needed to hear that. I have been struggling with so many things lately, this was the tip of the iceberg. Now I try to figure out how to conquer this and live with some victory. All I could see while he was preaching was the looks on the faces of my older two children as I slice and dice them with my words. And why, because for some reason their behavior or lack of obedience made my life uncomfortable. Now granted I do need to train. But I was not training I was acting out of frustration with being asked to stop what I was doing and deal with them. Shame, shame on me! I had a very hard time keeping myself composed. I know the Apostle Paul struggled with his sin in Romans 7, but how do I keep only fresh water in the well instead of allowing the salt water to flow as well. I want to be fresh water. I don't want to continue to shame my God with my continuous sin. Lord be that which I can not in my own strength.